Crew's Quarters

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

"My first impression is that you're carrying anger associated with that event, but that's oversimplifying and just recognizing it won't help you deal with it. I think you'll need to give me a little background about what happened so I can understand how it affected you. I don't need to know all the details, just tell me the things that are still on your mind."

[Major Clyde Greathouse]

He takes a drink of his tea "I set my phaser to stun as is required beamed down to the planet" he sighs "One of the minors give me trouble I had to stun him, but my phaser was set on kill and killed him"

He takes another drink "I was charged with murder, and went to trial Shran sacrificed him self losing his command for me, I was acquitted"

He sakes his head "Only to find out later that some people from the 28th century set me up" he takes a drink "On top that Yuna thought she was having problems with her pregnancy"

[Lt Tarkel London]

- after recieving his crates and trunks from the quartermasters office he stands ready to enter his new quarters these much like on Pegasus were directly next door to Kieles for some reason the federation likes housing command and operations personal close to one another. or maybe it was that special request he put in either way there he stood at the doors to his new home for ....however long this assignment lasted.. as teh doors swing open tarkel flips his shades down over his eyes the brightness perhaps to much all at once- "computer lower lights by 80 percent" as the lights regulate the shades vanish kicking his duffle bag tru the door and pulling the vole tank in tho the room behind him the doors swing shut-" well kids... looks like home to me .. unpacking his uniforms and his medals o commendation laying these on the desk close to the omputer and within reach for formal occasions sliding the vole cage right into the window where they have a wonderful view of the stars checking thier fungus and food supplies he finally places his own growing mushroom collection in the back of the closet to grow in thier own pan o f water , after using the ships systems to transport the bed to parts unknown and clear u the clutter he finishes laying out the pile of pillows and blankets creating an almost nest for his resting place .looking around before placing the beaded necklace on a simple metal hook embedded into the bulkhead. this one having four black beads aint e center and tree white beads on either side of the black ones giving a small nod and lmost a whispered prayer he cecks the cages for the voles seperating male from female once more and counting the litters remaining figting the hordes visious natures with gentle thumps to the head- now now wait your turn come on now.

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

"You said all that in a very matter of fact way. I didn't hear anything about how it made you feel. The fact that you were acquitted may not change how you felt about the accusation or that you might have been angry about being used and set up in the way you were. And then, if I understand you correctly, you were concerned about Yuna and the children you believed were your's, only to find out they weren't. You may not think that those feelings were justified but that's a lot to keep to yourself. Did you even have the chance to talk about how those things affected you?"

She smiled,refilled his tea glass and brought over an assortment of traditional English tea sandwiches and trifle while waiting for him to consider.

[Major Clyde Greathouse]

He looks at Kiele then at the assortment of traditional English tea sandwiches and trifles then he looked back up Kiele "What are you going to eat" he smiles

"I was mad the federation thought I would do that, mad that they just jumped to the conclusion about it, I felt they, I felt they he pauses Looked at me like I was freak, and I saw how the navy thinks of the Marines"

He takes a bite of the sandwich then takes a drink and set his tea down "But at the same time I was glad I had the support of the crew and captain his hand starts shaking "I was scared for Yuna when she thought their was something wrong with the babies, I could handle them dieing, but she would have been devastated"

He takes a breath "For the first time in my life I was scared, I was scared for Yuna and scared I be sent to prison and never see her, or the kids, Scared how it would hurt my mom knowing she had a murderer for a son

He shakes his head "I was angry, I couldn't control what was happing to me, so I pushed the feeling deep down in me"

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

"That's very difficult thing, not being in control of what's happening and not being able to help when you see someone in trouble. When you can't be angry at someone for what's happening, you can become angry at yourself for that feeling of impotence. You don't know what to do with that feeling so you bury it, but burying it is only a temporary solution. It helps you manage things at your own pace. Ignore it for too long however and suddenly you have a monster on your hands."

She smiled and let him continue to enjoy the sandwiches.

"But here I am stating the obvious. What do you think you need to do to help you get that control back?"

[Major Clyde Greathouse]

He shakes his head "I don't know I use to work out in the gym, to take out my frustration, or practice hand to hand combat with my men, put it don't help no more"

He takes another bite of sandwich then a drink "I can't figure out what to do, to get control back, and its really ticking me off"

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

"All that was doing was siphoning off the excess energy, not really addressing the problem. You lost faith in yourself then. Maybe just talking about it will help you figure it out but here's what I'm going to ask you to do first. When you notice the feeling beginning, stop what you're doing. Don't let the feeling take control of you. Awareness is key. Are you angry at the situation or person or is it the lack of control you're feeling? Learn to recognize your triggers and keep the anger in check. We'll keep working on the specifics if you like but the first thing you need to do is stop these outbreaks from happening."

[Major Clyde Greathouse]

He thinks for a moment "Lack of control, I hate not being in control of my self" he sighs "I know I can't control every situation, but I can control most of them, but I should always be able to control my self, right now I am having a hard time doing it"

He then smiles "But talking about this is helping me" he takes a drink

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

"If talking helps, I can listen, but you know that is a pretty serious matter. What if you lose your control on the Bridge for example or at a critical moment during a mission? What happens if Lt. McKenzie decided to file a complaint against you for what happened in the Lounge? If you find that talking and doing the exercises I recommend for you aren't helping, you'll need to see the Counselor. Your career, your life, is worth more than your feeling of discomfort around her."

[Major Clyde Greathouse]

He smiles "This is a serious matter and should I lose it, on a mission or the bridge I will place myself under arrest" he pauses a moment "I will talk with Aidan, and do something that is rare to none I will apologize to him, and Cindy for seeing that"

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

"Sounds like a good start." She smiled. "Remember that it's OK to be afraid. The important thing is not to let that fear control you. You may think nothing of it at the time, but suppressing things can often lead to the problem becoming much larger that it would have been if you'd dealt with it right away.

"We can talk again later. Let me know how things go with Cindy and Aiden?" She yawned. "Sorry, it's been a long day."

[Major Clyde Greathouse]

He stands up "Theirs nothing wrong with be afraid, but admitting its another story" he smiles "I'll let you know how it goes"

He sees Kiele yawn "I better go, before you get a bad rep he winks at her Then I'd have to break them he walks up to her and gives her a friendly hug then lets go Thanks for your help" he exits her quarters, and heads to the lounge

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

"Mmph." She responded. Big friendly hugs from a Greathouse could be likened to the same from a real bear. Admitting could be difficult but that was generally based on the fear of how it would appear to others. No one liked making mistakes.

The door had only just closed behind Clyde when the alert sounded again. Had he forgotten something? She was slightly irritated. She'd never get any rest if this continued. Expecting Clyde, she adjusted her gaze upward as she opened the door but found instead a crewman holding a large package.

"This was delivered for you just before you came aboard." He explained. "It came with explicit instructions from the artist that it was to be hand delivered or dire repercussions could be expected." He smiled but looked as if he couldn't be certain that the threat might not be carried out. He handed the package to her and nodded, excusing himself. "If you'll pardon me Ma'am, now that I can be sure my life is in no danger, I need to get back to my duties."

The package was well protected. Artist, he'd said and it slowly came to her what this was. A couple of years back, she had commissioned a noted Betazoid artist, Azuma Hagen, to paint an abstract for her. Betazoid abstracts were special. They depicted the emotion of a thing rather than the image.

She unboxed the painting. It was a battle scene. That much she could tell. Blazes of color showing anger, passion and loss at the height of the battle. She picked up the card Hagen had included. She described the painting as a captain and his ship destroyed during the Dominion Wars. A very modest description, Kiele thought. She thought that it caught that moment before destruction when all against all odds, you made your last stand with all the pride and passion that humankind was capable of. It was a very powerful and inspiring painting.

For now, Kiele returned it carefully to it's box. She would write a letter later telling Hagen how much she appreciated her work but for the next few hours, the most beautiful thing in her eyes would be a soft bed and warm blankets.

[LtCol Kiele Christienne]

Kiele sipped her tea. It was bitter, a concoction of detoxifying herbs, that were meant to wring the last of the toxins from her system. The poison in the mud had turned out to have very similar effects to the bacteria that had caused Captain Shran's paralyzation and Doctor Devoroh's coma.

The doctor's cavalier attitude she was sure, belied the depth true depth of his caring, but whenever she'd tried to talk with him about it, he would slough it off with a smile. There had been some lucid moments but in general, after she'd been pulled from the mud, she remembered very little. Through the haze of fever, she'd had impressions of pain, of the smell and the feel of the mud drying of her skin. In the places it had caked, lesions had developed and although the skin had been regenerated in those areas, she still moved with caution, feelings the tightness in her skin and the pain in her joints, caused by inflammation.

Kiele hadn't seen the doctor's report but she suspected he'd weighted it heavily in her favor. Her green tunic hung over the back of her desk chair, the gleaming silver oak leaves seemed testimony to that. She could not remember having done anything that would have merited such a promotion.

Now they were being sent back to Romulan territory, to witness the trial of the Spatial Displacement Drive. Two years ago, when her job had been to attend the negotiations in an advisory capacity, she had not known that something of this magnitude was being discussed. In only a few brief months, Romulan intelligence had recreated a working drive from the blueprints retrieved by the Dhivael. Despite their agreement to develop only one drive and to share any findings with the Federation, Kiele felt uneasy. Hadn't the original Borg drive become unstable? Had Romulan engineers been able to discover what the fault had been and correct it? This project had the potential to launch them all into a new era of peaceful exploration or send them into an abyss of war created by political greed.